Scared of the Easter Bunny

the title of the blog kind of gives it away

as a kid, i was terrified of the easter bunny

like, petrified

all of us voigt kids were

which doesn't make sense

i don't remember any traumatizing experiences with giant bunnies 

that would make us catatonic every time the easter visitor was mentioned

anyways

i thought we were alone in this

turns out not exactly

(watch this)

5 people i'm so sure i would be friends with in real life and one i would not

lord disick 

(for obvious reasons)

lily and marshall

(i would kill to be their couple-friend)

grumpy cat

(my spirit animal)

mayhem

(we are both good at making messes)

BUT NOT HER. 

(so much quirky and singing. oy vey)

5 things to make any monday better guaranteed or your money back

you guys can thank me later.

uno

dos

tres

this

(this whole blog is too funny. i die.) 

four

annnnd

cinco

happy monday, ya'll

only a few more till summer!

clods

ok, there was no katy wednesday last week

but i was packing for las vegas and couldn't sit still long enough to write a post

so to apologize

i'm giving up my favorite katy story

it's a good one

this is my favorite picture ever.

when i die

i want this on my program

(take note bryson)

it was youth conference

and freaking hot

and we were doing service

which, ya know, is cool and all

but it was like 139485734 degrees

but we put on our happy faces

and went to serve the cute old people

most groups had something like

weed the flower garden

or 

sweep the porch

and were done in 5 minutes

and could go swim

not our group

we had to make a pathway

thats right

like create it

and oh

it was grass before

(look at that picture. katy and i made that)

and sooo

being the serviceful and sweet children and all

we didnt complain

at all

(lie)

but all that righteous service

can get SUPER BORING

so we started picking up dirt clumps

and throwing them

shot put style

(so fun you guys)

and then got yelled at by the old people

and then complained.

it went on like this for probably 17 hours

and so, sweaty and with dirt in our hair 

(from the dirt clod throwing, remember?)

we became future roommates

the devil in the carrot juicer

you guys. 

i really love my job.

i mean, sure i get paid next to nothing.

and i spend most of my time COVERED IN FRUIT

(bryson thought i had huge bruises one time... turns out it was just blueberry juice mush i had somehow got on my elbows.)

but seriously,

WHO DOES NOT LOVE SMOOTHIES?

(except this one. it's gross. and it looks like baby diaper.)

sometimes though,

things go wrong.

take yesterday.

i was just doing my happy little thing

 getting ready to juice some carrots

i turn on the carrot juicer

and it roughly starts doing this

except it starts shaking

so being the rational person i am,

i keep putting carrots in it.

and then the smell comes

it was like burning tires.

or the pit of hell.

or both.

by this time, everyone- employees, customers, cecil o samuelson

has stopped what they were doing and started staring

 at the obviously possessed juicer

so i turned it off.

(i'm scared of casper. exorcism is not for me- not even carrot demons)

and later, two workmen came and took away our little machine.

and thats the story of the devil in the carrot juicer.

(enjoy.)