D is for DUMMY

so you know those things that you believe

that are just SO NOT TRUE

but you just keep on believing them?

we all have them

but some people just have a llliiittttle bit of a harder time

with the whole fact vs not fact thing

here i present to you my top 3 favorite REAL LIFE I WAS THERE stories

about people defending what they thought WAS SO TRUE

but in the end they were just plain wrong

(SIDE NOTE: one of these below dummies is me. 10 points if you can guess which one.)

DUMMY #1

"where does the Y (the big block-letter on the the mountain by BYU) go during the winter?

i never see it

sooo do they take it down?"

(she was then informed that no, the Y is white, and snow is white, so in the winter, it's like CAMOUFLAGE. her life was probably never the same after that.)

how i imagine her imagining them taking down the Y. 

DUMMY #2

(in nutrition class)

"JAM IS A FRUIT"

(other person tries to explain that jam is made from fruit, but is not actually a fruit)

"NO. THERE ARE JAM TREES"

it turns out this dummy was right... kind of.

DUMMY #3

was told by her friend that when a stop sign has white around it

it's STOPTIONAL

like, you don't have to stop

unless you want to

dummy #3 gets pulled over 

for GOING THROUGH A STOP SIGN

tells the police officer that it was a stoptional and no one was coming

police officer laughs so hard she almost pees

and tells dummy #3 to

NEVER EVER EVER LISTEN TO THAT FRIEND AGAIN

this kind of stop sign really would have been useful to dummy #3

OK. Now I want to hear about everyone (anyone?) who reads this blogs biggest dummy moment. or their roommates biggest dummy moment. or whatever. please. just do it for D is for DUMMY part 2.

(email them to gillianvoigt@live.com)

AND while you are sending me your stories... listen to this.

(THEY TALK ABOUT PROVO BETWEEN SECONDS 20 AND 28!!)

I'M BAAAACK

it's been kinda silent around here y'all

i'm so sorry

i still love you bloggy

anyways...

i have a real post just waiting to be written

but that requires, ya know, time

so for now, this is all i have

no one can put this quite stressful and time consuming semester into words quite like this guy

(whoever he is)

thanks to facebook, for turning into a place where people only share articles, videos(like this one), and baby pictures

hillbilly

guys

i had a stellar blog post planned for today

but that will have to wait

because about 15 minutes ago

my universe changed 

forever

those are my pearly whites 

that i love

and am very self-concious about

and there, on the front right tooth

IS A HUGE CHIP

(ok it's not like half of my tooth is gone but its still super awky looking)

because my husband tried to kiss me

and hit my teeth with his teeth

(can we be more like 15 year olds?)

and chipped my tooth

i immediately called my family

and they laughed at me

and then comforted me

and bryson will only be sleeping on the porch tonight

not on the roof 

(kidding)

a future break-up post

guys

i really don't like provo

(i know, it's not really new news)

but seriously,

these past two weeks have been

THEE WORST

i had to deal with one very very rude semi-relative

our car broke

our rent was returned, twice, because of bank errors

(and yes, we had to pay for their mistakes)

my papa died

and i look horrible in some recent facebook pictures

guys. like literally WHAT IS HAPPENING?

i swear provo is just trying to get rid of me, too.

it's like in middle school

when my friend sarah was trying to get her boyfriend ben

to break up with her 

because she didn't want to feel bad

but she was sooo over him

her plot didn't really end well for anyone

especially for her dog

who ben dyed green

when she actually did break up with him.

(guys, that's a real story. middle schoolers be cray-cray.)

and my complain fest is done now,

because really, despite where it's located,

i love BYU

and i'll miss it when i'm gone

(in just 3 short semesters)

until then provo,

try and not kill me.

(this is not the actual green dog from the story, but hey, a green dog is a green dog)

(because you need to listen to it)

squanto and the other things

meet squanto

caleb butler perry

i love him already

and i haven't even met him

congrats to my best friend kristiney and her husby kirk.

1. i've been babysitting the nerdiest children this past week.

 i never knew that a peck was 30 of something

but they did

and i still haven't been able to convince them that i actually go to college

dang it.

2. all these missionaries are coming home

and then they get on facebook

 and i'm like WAIT

WAIT

i forgot you even existed.

whoops.

3. this old couple kills me

"i make dirt"

tho old man especially

bryson in 70 years?

definitely. 

life in 7 seconds

work:

family:

just because:

how i wake up every day because life is just grand:

also. this song. i just can't stop listening. 

tired//lucky

You are tired,
(I think)
Of the always puzzle of living and doing;
And so am I.

Come with me, then,
And we'll leave it far and far away—
(Only you and I, understand!)

You have played,
(I think)
And broke the toys you were fondest of,
And are a little tired now;
Tired of things that break, and—
Just tired.
So am I.

But I come with a dream in my eyes tonight,
And knock with a rose at the hopeless gate of your heart—
Open to me!
For I will show you the places Nobody knows,
And, if you like,
The perfect places of Sleep.

Ah, come with me!
I'll blow you that wonderful bubble, the moon,
That floats forever and a day;
I'll sing you the jacinth song
Of the probable stars;
I will attempt the unstartled steppes of dream,
Until I find the Only Flower,
Which shall keep (I think) your little heart
While the moon comes out of the sea.

e.e. cummings

when i turn purple with anger over a betrayal of trust

or i can't sleep with nightmares of a former life

or i beg in tears to not have to leave this place and face provo this fall

i am so lucky to have a husband that will calm me down

with kind words and sweet promises

unmatched even by my beloved e.e.